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As i wrote the decision email to my boss, I suddenly feel a wave of sadness and with a very heavy heart, I am saying goodbye to a place I worked so hard for 5 years. I will really miss it, will really remember what I have learnt and went through. I cried so hard as I wrote the thank you words and the disappointment just swells me up. I am happy that I found a new job, yet super sad that I am leaving my comfort zone, although it was hardly a comfort zone recently. But still the many users I have met and crossed my paths, I am thankful and happy to know them. Although we have friction sometimes, but it is becos we are passionate about our work. Amazing that time flies so fast, that the years feel like months. I can still remember the day I joined, or even the day when they offered me to join, I was ecstatic. I was so amazed that a big company would actually want me. Today I am feeling the same. The new place was actually so excited to have me. I am both thankful and sad at the same time.

I know there were difficult times which I went through, but I grew stronger, and able to adapt. I dont know what the new environment will bring, but I am taking this calculated risk to learn more. I dont know what to expect, but to lean on God to provide guidance and help.

My sis.

KaiI knew i would cry when I saw her getting married. And i did. Almost bawled uncontrollably. Couldnt help it….

Bob Chi = pork cheeks
Berlin = Belrin
Pistachio = Pikachu
not Adam’s haircut

Its a struggle

The love, the passion seems to have died. However, the memories both painful and beautiful are what built me. I am going to miss it so much, if i put it down. How come it isnt easy to let go?

Who can understand how much i am struggling? Lord, other than you, who understands?? Cry…

It was something which took alot to build. And in turn, I learnt alot, made and lost friends.

It seems that even though its been months. It can still captivate me. It can still make me interested to know. Although it was hopeless. Although it can never be.

But I will be stronger. I will not depend on just you.

Recently, I cant seem to have any inspiration to write. Nothing worth writing…

Once it ended.

dont know if i am crazy. I actually missed the pressure, i missed the excite and adrenaline rush while rushing to meet dateline. Now it is sort of anticlimax.

met up with boss. but somehow i really dont see my future there anymore. I have given all, yet the Finance management shows zero appreciation. Hurtful that shark treats me this way. I wish that she actually treats me like a human, i also have feelings.

always, when reaching the finishing line, its difficult. I can see the end, but am afraid it will end too soon. Will there be any appreciation? All this push, all this work done. But I gained so much from being hands on, I got to learn so much. I know the business processes much better now. All those who want to steal the limelight, will never gain the knowledge I fought so hard to spend to learn.

You cant take that away from me.

Its always the sad things and weird things that I keep in my head. I am sometimes amazed how much I can remember. Especially the sad stuff. No matter how hard I try to put it behind, it keeps coming back to haunt me.

I need to throw them behind.

I was sad that she made a comment that I didnt thank the cell group. Not that I didnt, just my mind couldnt put them to words. Also, the impact isnt as great, compared to the support I got from God given friends.

Not that my cell isnt important. I just need to get to the momentum to feel part of it again.

2 weeks to go. all full steam ahead. I need to make it.

Fearless.

I need to be fearless. For change. For better.

I really hope that I can be greedy. Lord, i ask for something that wont disrupt my bank balance. Lord, I boldly ask for a raise. Lord I wish for that I can be alot happier.

I wish i wasnt in love with you. You dont deserve me. Wasting my time…. (I wish i wasnt, heather Headley)

I want to say goodbye to you. The five years i place in. All these efforts. Doesnt seem to count…

the timing, the person.

At the right time, meeting the right person, is a lifetime of happiness.
At the right time, meeting the wrong person, is an experience in heatrtbreak.
At the wrong time, meeting the right person, is a life full of hopelessness.
At the wrong time, meeting the wrong person, is a path full of torment. (translation from Koala’s playground)

在对的时间,遇见对的人,是一生幸福;在对的时间,遇见错的人,是一场心伤;在错的时间,遇见对的人,是一世无奈;在错的时间,遇见错的人,是一段折磨。(桐华)